Here’s my dream from last night: I was a pirate and I got instructions to do something “captains quarters” which is slang for “the right way” as opposed to “crews quarters” which means the easy or sloppy way. I understood it as the difference between making a primitive spear by sharpening a stick and making a primitive spear by knapping a spearhead.
The pirate theme probably comes from a party I’m attending tomorrow, but the message clearly related to my last entry. Quit half assing. Do it right.
I’ve heard the horror stories of people who dabble in magic but don’t fully commit. Who half-ass their banishings, if they do them at all. Who play with Ouija boards without a solid understanding of what they’re doing. Not the people who are completely ignorant, because their ignorance provides them with a level of protection, but the people who know just enough to get them in trouble. I’ve never experienced it myself. I was an armchair magician for long enough that I made the jump straight from ignorance to more-or-less competent, and went I jumped in to practicing, I jumped in with both feet.
Now, though, I have some inkling of what those stories are about. I’ve had my toes in the water for a week now, trying to slowly build up a daily practice, and I’m definitely worse for the wear. By only dream journaling in the morning, instead of in the middle of the night (if I happen to wake up), I’ve put myself into a situation where my dream recall is spotty, but I have a constant feeling of “something important happened, and I’ve forgotten”. By only meditating for a few minutes, I’ve stirred my subconscious enough that the negative thoughts are close to the surface without fully accepting and processing them, and the snippets of dream I remember are disturbing or disjointed, and leave me feeling uncomfortable.
So, my advice to the aspiring reader is simple. Do it, or don’t, but don’t half ass it. For myself, I’ve learned my lesson. Time to hit the streets.
First, sorry to disappoint anyone who finds this page looking for medical advice on extremely long periods of defecation. I recommend you call a doctor, at this point. For anyone still here, I’m still getting back in the groove of posting daily, and the last two days were busy.
Sunday, my circle celebrated the full moon and I was elected on short notice to be HP. I opened with a modified LBRP, and lead a nice guided meditation, which I shamelessly stoke and which you can find at https://www.oursightyourlight.com%2Fblog%2Ffull-moon-invocation-visualization. It was a slightly difficult ritual, since my friend whom I recently argued with was hosting, but it went well, and I received several compliments on my guiding.
Yesterday, I spent the evening speaking with a friend who attended the Starwood festival. Definitely on my to-do list for next year, though to be fair, it’s been on to-do list for the last two years as well. I’ve experienced 800-1000 person festivals before, but not with the degree of structure or the level of workshops available at Starwood. But when your friend says “I got to hang out with Oberon Zell, Bright Hawk, and Ian Corrigan” and she doesn’t mean “I attended their classes” she means “I was sitting at the campfire and they came and had a few beers” how can I not go next year? Hell, even the organizers of the other two festivals I usually attend were there, so that’s definitely happening.
I probably should’ve started this most recent run of posts with a preemptive warning that nothing of much import is likely to go on for a week or so. But, in the spirit of updating as often as possible, I have just barely begun to clean up my meditation area and altar space. I got in a devastating fight with my best friend of ten years yesterday afternoon, and I’m having a rough go at being a productive member of society today.
Alan Chapman continues to both impress and depress me. A long time friend of mine recently asked me for advice in the craft, and while explaining to her the different types of magick, I realized that it’s all basically sigils, just instead of making your intent into words into shapes, you make your intent into ingredients into candles, or crystals into grids, or whatever. This was a breakthrough for me, and now, 35 pages in, Alan Chapman has this written all down in plain English. I should’ve read this a year ago. I can’t wait to see what he knows that I don’t.
Daily practice-wise, I did some short very short meditation last night, and already my dreams are taking back on their magickal bent. Nothing too amazing, just a group middle-pillar type ritual, but still glad to be experiencing these things again. The weekend is likely to hold some both magickal and mundane house cleaning to get the altar space usable, and after that the real fun begins.
Hello, friends, and welcome back. After quite the hiatus, I am risen. I apologize for my absence. While I have been somewhat lacking in my daily practice, and its effect on my life has been noticeable, I have taken this time to build a stronger relationship with deity, as well as within community. I dare say that, with the help of people I now consider friends, we’ve successfully banded together a working circle of practitioners in an area that had previously been at least half an hour away from any other groups. It’s not the greatest achievement, but it sure saves on gas.
Anyway, on to business. After reading recommendation after recommendation in favor of Alan chapmans “advanced magick for beginners” I’ve finally decided to read it. It has taken him only slightly more than 23 pages to call me out on not keeping a magickal journal. Not-so amazingly, considering how magick works, he described in two paragraphs exactly why my daily practice has stopped.
So, here I am, with apologies. I’m back, hopefully better than ever. I have no doubts that my time away has sown seeds that will reap benefits, as soon as I’ve once again disciplined myself into a state where I feel comfortable asking for them.
So, I’d posted previously about how I thought Ain manifested masculine and feminine in the form of angels and demons, possibility and material. That the sephiroth and qliphoth weren’t a tree and its roots, but two side of creation growing in tandem. A conversation I had tonight made me take a deeper look at that, and I’m realizing that the sephiroth doesn’t include the emanations of God like ain, ain soph, and ain soph aur. So now, while I’m still holding to that split into demonic and angelic being a further emanation of God, I’m wondering if it doesn’t happen until Kether, which would actually but it very close to, if not perfectly in line with, the more standard model of Sophia being the final “pure” emanation of God that ended up bringing about the physical universe.
Like all of my posts, this definitely bears further thought, but when a theory comes to me that tends towards aligning with thousands of years of previous practitioners AND doesn’t contradict anything I KNOW to be true, I tend to assume it’s accurate. We’ll see if tonight’s dreams have anything to say on the matter.